~! A World of Love !
Live to Love, Love to Live ~
I dunno wats wrong with mi recently ....i'm having this terrible mood swing that i think its really affecting mi ... 2 days in a row, i'm angry with 2 of the ppl i most care abt ...
First was yesterday , was out with my boy boy... didnt have enough sleep n was working since morning ...so i thought that i might be losing my temper cos of tireness... angry over very small thing. though after that i'm back to normal , but on my way back , i got angry again when i think back abt it ... lucky, my boy boy didnt really blame mi for being unreasonable.... on my way back . waiting for bus, there is this holland old lady( she is really from holland) who got lost .... n she was like so scared that she couldnt calm down .. n becos of her , i miss my bus .... anyway, the stupidest thing is there is an aunty beside mi ( i believe she work in mobil) , was trying to consult the lady by saying that if the lady really cannot find her way home , dun worry, cos she can sleep in the mobil ( across the street ) n go home again tml... damn cock lor ... calling a person to go sleep in the mobil .. damn ... anyway, got to know that the lady was in a cab to thomson plaza... n from there she dunno how to go home .. cos its late at night n she dunno her way ... n the damn thing is ... she dun have her son（who live here) hp n dunno the add to the place ....... i was like .. wat lao .. u dunno n u can go out like that ....really asking for it lor ... that after that , the aunty bus came , while we was still trying to figure out how to help the lady .. she just told the lady she know how to go n took her up her bus... which i really dun think she know lor ... anyway, the bus went off ... n i dunno where they went too .. can onli wait for my next bus ... actually was thinking of calling police .. but never mind la .. just hope that the lady is fine n manage to find her son's house ...
wake up this morning , i feeling really better , no more headache... but have a long day of sch together.. was trying very hard not to fall asleep cos the lesson is really boring ... went n bought a financial calculator which cost mi 60 bucks... damn ex.. but wat to do , i need it for my personal finance . Though kelvin can lend mi tml , i guess its better for mi to get my own , seen its useful to have one if i want to work in the banks ... anyway, i need it to do a lot of my calculation ... then at night , went to ying house for yu sheng n celebration her brother birthday...at first , everything is fine , we will enjoying ourselves.. then we decided to play mahjong...n then things started happening... at first , i was thinking of playing the standard mahjong .. more fun .. but ying n her brother dunno how to count .. so never mind.. but they want to play the malaysian stuff.. something like if u win by eating from other $1 , if u win by yourself $2 . then if u got 4 of the same kind by urself $2 (an gang) n by other $1(gang) ... it was like so stupid lor .. n an gang so x lor ... play play onli , play until so big .... never mind ..all these is okie for mi ... but everyone know i play mahjong very serious one lor ... cos i'm the onli one who dunno how to play the malaysian style , i was quite pissed when ying didnt really explain the rule well n immediately start playing .. its like i dun even know wats going on lor ... though i know a bit .. but its very irritating when its not very clear lor ... really lor ... n its like playing mahjong where u can win even if u dun have flower lor .. its so so boring .. n so so stupid . i agreed that i was pissed la.. but i play on lor ... of course i needed some time to cool down lor ... then cos i was pissed, ying is pissed... after the 2nd game , she say she dun want to play liao .. i was like wat lao ... say want to play one also u , didnt say the rule clearly n start playing one also u .. n now dun want ot play one also u ... is like so no style lor ... i really dun like ppl play half way n say dun want to play n just walk off like that lor .. so rude lor ... n her bf has to go sweet talk her back to play ... while waiting , her brother dun want to play liao... n i was like so sian lor ... then dun need to play liao lor ... then dun feel like talking to her after that liao ... childish mi right... i also think so .. but i cant help it .. cos i'm still pissed.... really pissed.. n i really dun feel like talking after that.. was like totally no mood to do anything but to go home ..
know i upset her by throwing my temper again .. in fact, i think i'm making my boy boy worry too.. but i really cant force myself to put up a smile at that moment ... maybe ignoring mi will be the best thing to do man .. let mi calm down by myself first ...after a while , or maybe a day after my sleep i will be okie again...
but now , i feeling very guilty.. gulity of letting my mood affect those i care for ... anyway, i know they wun take it to heart .. n might not remember it tml just like mi .. but now , i just hate this feeling i got ... cant seem to get that " thing" ( emotion) off mi ... n the more i thing .. the more unhappy i am ... just hope that this mood swing thingy will get off mi asap ... cos i really hate the feeling of getting angry ... it just make mi want to cry ... emotional mi ... meeting my boy boy tml ...hope that tml will be a better day, dun want to make him not happy again... if not , i really have to lock myself up n stop seeing anyone for some time till my mood swing end....
posted by Trish daydreaming at 2/16/2005 12:21:00 AM
