~! A World of Love !
Live to Love, Love to Live ~
finally finished my promotor job in whitesand .. haha ... got the watch that i wanted .. n get lots of confirmance from my frenz.. all say i wear nice ... hhahah.. n its cost 129 bucks ( 96bucks after discount) ..but guess wat... i didnt pay for it .. haha .... cos my boss was saying .."never mind la, pay next time " i was wondering .. will u still remember next time .. n how u goin to ask mi to pay if i dun mention it.. hahah ... n i wun .. hehe.. cos i dun intend to pay so much for it .. hehe.. but if he really ask mi to pay.. of course i gotto pay la.. hehe .. have fun working at whitesand .. now i'm busying with my CCA stuff..very busy... just realised how much i haven do ... goodness... but at least i still doing something.. not like some of my CS frenZ... think they totally give up on the camp liao... n i'm disappointed abt that too... but i cant say much too .. cos i haven been putting in any effort as well...
have been busy working working n working ... missing my frenz birthday party, missing the gathering, missing out in camp ( which i really enjoy going)......... and missing out in lots of fun .. haven been contacting any frenz...n of course , i miss my sis... miss her alot ... hehe...just hope that those ppl that are involved in all the events that i'm missing wun be too pissed with mi...cos i really cant stay the boredom at home.. n the fact is .. once i start working... i cant stop..... workaholic to be... i noe....but guess that mi .... jhhehe ...just hope that i will have the chance to meet up with everyone soon....
saw Alwin's sis n frenz in whitesand ... think there is this Urban escape thingy going on in pasir ris...the first thing i thought of... will he be around too...at that moment .. my heart is like pounding out ...n dunno y , tear just wanna fall down.. but of course i stop myself immediately... All my mood in doing sale just disappointed.. i got no mood to do anything... all i care abt is thinking abt him .. n daydreaming abt our past... talked to his sis for a while... m so glad i talked to her .. cos i think its actually the first time i really have a chat with her... n so happy after talking to her .. cos i think i have taken lots of guts to do that... something i wun have done in the past... something different... something that i'm proud of ... cos of that , i decided to sms him as well... n i'm gald that he reply too... though its just some short sms... but i'm so so happy .... really happy ... after 5 months .. finally hearing something from him again..sometimes, i just wish that he has a blog... so that i will be able to know wat he is up to recently... but i know that will never happen .. cos he will never want anyone to know his privacy... haha .. silly mi .. talking abt him again... have been trying very hard to get him of my mind ... thought i have succeeded . but till now then i realised that he has never left my heart ... especially when i hear my heart beat when i read his reply... there is nothing much abt his msg .. but its just the happy feeling to get his reply that make my heart beat fast ... n i haven been having any of that feeling for very long... thats y .. i hoped i wun be seeing him again .. cos i dun want to feel that heart ache again..but i muz admit that there is another person taking up space in my heart..couldnt have gone this far without his support n care...he have been there to share my joy n pain ...i have no intention in winning back or winning the hearts of any of them ....cos i have give up... totally give up...but i just wish that they can find their happiness soon ... both of them...thats wat i hope for ...
Now , my heart is totally cold...recently i just realised that i changed. i become more cold blooded...n sometimes, i'm totally not interested by any things that is happening around mi... like who hurts who .. brhbrrrr.....i may still listen n ask a qns... but the feeling is just different... i'm not as emotional to know everything anymore...in like , in the past, when my frenz say she like someone, i will be like .. oh..okok... tell mi more .. n i give u more advice .. brr brrbrr.. but now .. its like .. ok ... u like him ... ok... u tell mi this n this.. but i got no comment anymore.. i just listen .. cos i dunno how to comment anymore... no advice for anyone.. maybe sometime .. there are still some comment.. but its getting lesser... maybe its becos its holi .. haha.. i hope so too.. cos i just felt that i have lost hope in all guys... or maybe i should say i dun trust the word love anymore... its so so unrealistic... though sometime , especially when i'm tired and sick of my life, i still hope that there will be someone out there to lend mi a shoulder , to give mi a hug .. n to care for mi ... but to think again... i dun think i want to get involved in another relationship so soon... but then .. who knows.. maybe one day, there is a guy that can touch my heart again.. n i will fall in love again.. haha ... but for the time being ... i'm happy with the way things are now... but sure to say , i'm not as crazy over love as i used to be now...
posted by Trish daydreaming at 6/14/2004 10:58:00 PM
