~! A World of Love !
Live to Love, Love to Live ~
wat have happen to me. .....i really dunno... i dunno why am i irritating everyone. I'm really feeling very depressed and is feeling worst when people try to consult me. I know that there are a lot of good frenz out there caring for me and are willing to do anything to help. But, i just dun want to be helped. I understand everything and know everything that you guys are saying and i know that you all really want me to be happy... I really appreciate that. But i dun want to be the cry baby that everyone has to come to me and ask me " R u ok?".
I'm really feeling very sick of myself, dunno wat m i saying, doing, thinking. Maybe wat i'm pissed with is just some silly stupid minor stuff that when you guy heard about it , you will start scolding me and say that i'm asking for it. Cos i could have done something else to stop it ... I'm really feeling very stupid cos no matter wat i do, i dun seem to do it rite. Never seem to do it rite in other people point of view. They will start saying why are you doing it this way, you could have did it that way, you ask for it cos you can dun do it. Maybe i'm not brave enough to accept people's opinion but i definitely dun need sympathy.
i'm simply irritating everyone but unwilling to let anyone to help me... Maybe i just dun want people to think that i'm actually seeking for attention. I dun need attention now.
I'm very pessimistic, emotional and stubborn... whenever i feel that things are not going the rite way, i will blame myself for it. Why others can do it while you cant? Why is it always happening from you? Now its getting worst ....
I beginning to really hate myself. N i have never believe in myself. i still cannot understand why will there be people who actually like me or feeling great to have me as a frenz ... maybe sooner or later, u will get so used to my rubbish that you cant even be bother to consult. Probably, you will just let me there to cry until i'm satisfied with it.
Wat i need is just a get away from Singapore. Let me recharge, relax, regain my confidence. Please dun bother about me, dun scold me, dun consult me...cos i will be ok ... I will have to , or must get over it if not i will not moved on. Thanks for all those that want to help and i'm really sorry for being an idiot cos i really want to solve it myself . I want to be independent and strong. So please let me be or i will never grow up ... I will definitely go see a doctor if i really could not solve it k ....
So .... who is onz for a holi >???
posted by Trish daydreaming at 10/18/2003 10:26:00 PM
